MARITAL CRISIS

INFIDELITY

 

EHIKODI THELMA

 

Infidelity (also referred to as cheating, adultery, or having an affair) is the subjective feeling that one’s partner has violated a set of rules or relationship norms and this violation results in feelings of sexual jealousy and rivalry.

The violation can be sexual in nature, for example involving kissing, sexual fondling, vaginal intercourse, or anal intercourse with another individual outside of the relationship. While exchanging marital vows, the intending couples claim: “forsaking all others – to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do us part”. All these vows are rubbished immediately infidelity creeps into the marriage.

 

Act of Infidelity

 

Act of Infidelity

Causes of Infidelity

Causes of infidelity in men have been linked to sexual dissatisfaction while that of women is linked to emotional dissatisfaction. This is because sexual satisfaction may be more important to husbands and that wives are more concerned with compatibility with their partners. Women indicated relationship dissatisfaction as the number one reason for infidelity, whereas men reported a lack of communication, understanding, and sexual incompatibility. In general, marital dissatisfaction overall is the number one reason often reported for infidelity for both sexes. It is important to note that there are many other factors that increase the likelihood of anyone engaging in infidelity. Individuals exhibiting sexually permissive attitudes and those who have had a high number of past sexual relationships are also more likely to engage in infidelity. Other factors such as being well educated, living in an urban centre, being less religious, having a liberal ideology and values, having more opportunities to meet potential partners, and being older affects the likelihood of one being involved in an extramarital affair.

 

Workplace issues

Infidelities at work or office romances are thought to stem at an individual’s workplace. As the sheer number of women in the workforce is now matching the same numbers of men, there is likelihood of increase in infidelity as workplace interaction between the sexes increase. However, adulterous office romances are widely considered to be unhelpful to business and work relationships. They are usually with a co-worker, a business associate or someone they repeatedly encounter. Another reason for the development of office romances is the amount of time Co-workers spend together. Spouses today often spend more time with co-workers in the office than with each other.  Quite simply, women intersect with more people during the day than they used to. They go to more meetings, take more business trips and, presumably, participate more in flirtatious chatter.

 

Workplace Romance



The effects of infidelity

That the effects of infidelity are sometimes temporary, but many times it can be permanent. They Include:

Trust

Infidelity breaks the trust that one has for their partner when they are apart. Lack of trust may cause constant suspicion and interrogation. This can create a tense and hostile home environment, even if the affair is over. The lingering aura of the affair is enough to cause spontaneous arguments.

 

Self esteem

Infidelity hurts one's partner, because it may attack their self-esteem. One begins to question their value and worth against their partner's lover. Self-analysis easily transpires into self-criticism. The desire to care for one's physical appearance begins to decline, and then disappears. The infidelous partner uses this as an excuse for their infidelity. Low self-esteem can also cause the offended partner to become adulterous too.

 

Children are not left out of all this as they are being lied to also. The time spent away with the lover, is time away from the children. Older children are keener, thus they can see through and dissect lies. Too many disappointments can lead to resentment in children. With resentment and lack of trust, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship with one's children.they begin to question their worth when they witness a parent's infidelity. These can lead to anxieties in a child. Girls who grow up with an adulterous father may develop trust issues with men when they grow up, or she may have hostile feelings towards men because of what she witnessed her mother endure, when she was a child.

 

Boys who witness infidelity may have low respect for women as their father did for their mother. They may feel that being a man is equal to being adulterous. If their mother is the adulterous one, he may view women as immoral and have issues of trust or resentment towards them.

 

Infidelity has broken a lot of homes; caused health related problems to affected parties and has even destabilized the growth of children. So, before entering into an affair, remember that the effects of infidelity are sometimes temporary, but many times it can be permanent.