Community development

Hello friends, it's been a while. I kind of forgot all about blogging, but I'm back now.

I have a question that needs answers from all which is:
What are the implications of youth involvement in community development?

Please fell free to post your comments (Positive or Negative) . Thank you.

General Interest Stories: "ADIRE - Our National Heritage"

General Interest Stories: "ADIRE - Our National Heritage": The History of Adire Ehikodi Thelma Adire is a resist-dyed cloth produced and worn by the Yoruba people of southwestern Nigeria West Af...

MARITAL CRISIS

INFIDELITY

 

EHIKODI THELMA

 

Infidelity (also referred to as cheating, adultery, or having an affair) is the subjective feeling that one’s partner has violated a set of rules or relationship norms and this violation results in feelings of sexual jealousy and rivalry.

The violation can be sexual in nature, for example involving kissing, sexual fondling, vaginal intercourse, or anal intercourse with another individual outside of the relationship. While exchanging marital vows, the intending couples claim: “forsaking all others – to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do us part”. All these vows are rubbished immediately infidelity creeps into the marriage.

 

Act of Infidelity

 

Act of Infidelity

Causes of Infidelity

Causes of infidelity in men have been linked to sexual dissatisfaction while that of women is linked to emotional dissatisfaction. This is because sexual satisfaction may be more important to husbands and that wives are more concerned with compatibility with their partners. Women indicated relationship dissatisfaction as the number one reason for infidelity, whereas men reported a lack of communication, understanding, and sexual incompatibility. In general, marital dissatisfaction overall is the number one reason often reported for infidelity for both sexes. It is important to note that there are many other factors that increase the likelihood of anyone engaging in infidelity. Individuals exhibiting sexually permissive attitudes and those who have had a high number of past sexual relationships are also more likely to engage in infidelity. Other factors such as being well educated, living in an urban centre, being less religious, having a liberal ideology and values, having more opportunities to meet potential partners, and being older affects the likelihood of one being involved in an extramarital affair.

 

Workplace issues

Infidelities at work or office romances are thought to stem at an individual’s workplace. As the sheer number of women in the workforce is now matching the same numbers of men, there is likelihood of increase in infidelity as workplace interaction between the sexes increase. However, adulterous office romances are widely considered to be unhelpful to business and work relationships. They are usually with a co-worker, a business associate or someone they repeatedly encounter. Another reason for the development of office romances is the amount of time Co-workers spend together. Spouses today often spend more time with co-workers in the office than with each other.  Quite simply, women intersect with more people during the day than they used to. They go to more meetings, take more business trips and, presumably, participate more in flirtatious chatter.

 

Workplace Romance



The effects of infidelity

That the effects of infidelity are sometimes temporary, but many times it can be permanent. They Include:

Trust

Infidelity breaks the trust that one has for their partner when they are apart. Lack of trust may cause constant suspicion and interrogation. This can create a tense and hostile home environment, even if the affair is over. The lingering aura of the affair is enough to cause spontaneous arguments.

 

Self esteem

Infidelity hurts one's partner, because it may attack their self-esteem. One begins to question their value and worth against their partner's lover. Self-analysis easily transpires into self-criticism. The desire to care for one's physical appearance begins to decline, and then disappears. The infidelous partner uses this as an excuse for their infidelity. Low self-esteem can also cause the offended partner to become adulterous too.

 

Children are not left out of all this as they are being lied to also. The time spent away with the lover, is time away from the children. Older children are keener, thus they can see through and dissect lies. Too many disappointments can lead to resentment in children. With resentment and lack of trust, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship with one's children.they begin to question their worth when they witness a parent's infidelity. These can lead to anxieties in a child. Girls who grow up with an adulterous father may develop trust issues with men when they grow up, or she may have hostile feelings towards men because of what she witnessed her mother endure, when she was a child.

 

Boys who witness infidelity may have low respect for women as their father did for their mother. They may feel that being a man is equal to being adulterous. If their mother is the adulterous one, he may view women as immoral and have issues of trust or resentment towards them.

 

Infidelity has broken a lot of homes; caused health related problems to affected parties and has even destabilized the growth of children. So, before entering into an affair, remember that the effects of infidelity are sometimes temporary, but many times it can be permanent.

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"ADIRE - Our National Heritage"

The History of Adire

Ehikodi Thelma

Adire is a resist-dyed cloth produced and worn by the Yoruba people of southwestern Nigeria West Africa. The Yoruba label ‘Adire’, which means “tied and dyed,” was first applied to indigo-dyed cloth decorated with resist patterns around the turn of the twentieth century.

Adire-oniko

 

With the introduction of a broader color palette of imported synthetic dyes in the second half of the twentieth century, the label “Adire” was expanded to include a variety of hand-dyed textiles using wax resist batik methods to produce patterned cloth in a dazzling array of dye tints and hues. As a distinctive textile type, Adire first emerged in the city of Abeokuta, a center for cotton production, weaving, and indigo-dyeing in the nineteenth century. The prototype was tie-dyed kijipa, a hand-woven cloth dyed with indigo for use as wrappers and covering cloths. Female specialists dyed yarns and cloth and also refurbished faded clothing by re-dyeing the cloth with tie-dyed patterns.

When British trading firms introduced cheap imported cloth and flooded the market with colorful inexpensive printed textiles, the Adire industry emerged to meet the challenge. The women discovered that the imported white cotton shirting was cheaper than handwoven cloth and could be decorated and dyed to meet local tastes. The soft, smooth texture of the import cloth, in contrast to the rough surface of kijipa cloth, provided a new impetus for decoration. The soft shirting encouraged the decorators to create smaller more precise patterns with tie-dye methods and to use raffia thread to produce finely patterned stitch-resist Adire Alabere. The smooth surface of shirting led to the development of hand-painted starch-resist Adire Eleko. Abeokuta remained the major producer and trade center for Adire, but Ibadan, a larger city to the north, developed a nucleus of women artists who specialized in hand-painted Adire Eleko. The wrapper design Ibadandun (“Ibadandun” meaning “the city of Ibadan is sweet”) is popular to this day.

In the early decades of the twentieth century, a vast trade network for Adire spread across West Africa. Adire wrappers were sold as far away as Ghana, Senegal, and the Congo. At the height of Adire production in the 1920s, Senegalese merchants came to Abeokuta to buy as many as 2,000 wrappers in one day from the female traders. In the twenty-first century, the new colorful Adire continues to meet fashion challenges and to be an alternative to machine prints. In continually changing patterns, new Adire appeals to the fashion-conscious Yoruba in the urban and rural areas. In Nigeria one can still buy indigo-dyed Adire-oniko and eleko made by older women in Abeokuta and Ibadan and by artisans at the Nike Center for the Arts and Culture in Oshogbo where the artist Nike Davies-Okundaye trains students in traditional Adire techniques.

 THE MAKING OF ADIRE

Mrs. Akpino, who resides in Abeokuta and a professional in the making of Adire, teaches that Adire can be made in two ways. "Tie and Dye popularly called “Adire” can be made in two ways. The first is the Batik Style. This involves drawing patterns on foam or wooden plate which will be immersed into hot candle. The candle must not be too hot and not too cold, and then the foam or wooden pattern will be imprinted on the cloth. Afterwards the patterned cloth will be dipped into mixed dye which would have been measured and mixed according to the quantity of cloth. Then the cloth is removed from the dye solution and dried for a while before being immersed again into hot water so as to remove the candle wax completely from the cloth. The second method is the tye and dye method which in Yoruba language is called Adire-Oniko.  Adire-Oniko is tied or wrapped with raffia into to form various patterns. Afterwards, the tied cloth is immersed into dye solution. Once the dye has penetrated enough into the cloth, the cloth is removed from the solution, rinsed thoroughly, starched and dried." The traditional production of Adire involves the input of two female specialists—dyers (Alaro), who control production and marketing of Adire, and decorators (Aladire), who create the resist patterns and also markets the finished products.

Production of Adire-oniko
 

Production of Adire using the Batik style

PRESERVATION OF ADIRE AS OUR HERITAGE

The import of cloths from oversees have posed a great challenge in the Adire making industry. In order to preserve Adire as our heritage, continuous patronage of same by Nigerians instead of stocking our wardrobes with various types of imported clothes is needed. Let’s sample the views of youths on their patronage of Adire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

General Interest Stories: PERSONALITY PROFILE ON PASTOR SHOLA OLAMAKINDE

General Interest Stories: PERSONALITY PROFILE ON PASTOR SHOLA OLAMAKINDE: The Complexity of a Man's Gifts Who Refused To Be Deprived By Sin. Exerting a lot of energ y , Shola Olam a kinde jumps off the alt...

PERSONALITY PROFILE ON PASTOR SHOLA OLAMAKINDE

The Complexity of a Man's Gifts Who Refused To Be Deprived By Sin.

Exerting a lot of energy, Shola Olamakinde jumps off the altar in the bid to lay more emphasis on the topic of the day with very optimistic assurance that he was hitting the nail on the head.

In the minutes that follow, he will have to ensure the soberness of the congregation by making the alter call so as to complete the assignment of the day of once again bringing lost souls to Christ. There are no soft words, you take it hard and receive the truth or you don't take it at all. His character depicts those he imbibed in an aggressive manner just for the Love of Christ.

Pastor Shola Olamakinde, 50, of Oyo breed, is a part-time Pastor with the Foursquare Gospel Church Nigeria. He is among the most accomplished business men who is into environmental related services; interior decoration, art gallery services, training and Pastoring. His passion for souls grew after he received the call of God to go into the Ministerial work. "He will do better as an evangelist and a pastor by the reason of his temperament", said Pastor Tope Ilesanmi - his friend. Pastor Shola as he is fondly called is a minister of the gospel cum businessman and has gone through thick and thin in building his career both in the secular world and in the ministry.

His Early Life
Pastor Shola is an offspring from a Polygamous home being the last child of the fist wife. He was born in Ibadan in 1962 and started his elementary education at age six (6) in Ansarudeen Primary School, Ikire, Oyo State. He later relocated to Ilorin to join his father who had been there. He continued with his elementary education from Primary 3 at St. James Primary School where he had his First School Leaving Certificate in 1974. He gained admission to Okeya High School, Okeya via Igbaja in 1975 and graduated in 1980 before relocating to Ibadan in 1981 and came finally to Lagos between 1982 - 1983. Pastor Shola who did not make his W.A.S.C.E at first sitting had to fend for himself "I took my destiny in my hands and looked for relationship and friendship that could help me and facilitate my vision in life." He said. "I came to Lagos to retake and reseat for my WAEC in 1986.

 Career Pursuit

Hope shined on Pastor Shola when he gained admission into the Lagos State Polytechnic to study Insurance Actuarial Science in the 1987/1988 academic session at OND and HND levels. He went over to Calabar where he had his Post Graduate Diploma in Public Administration. Not yet satisfied with his academic success, Shola went ahead to do his Masters Degree Programme in Business Administration at the University of Ado-Ekiti.

 Ministerial Calling

On getting to the peak of his secular academic pursuit, Shola Olamakinde received the call of God to serve in the capacity of a minister which prompted his admission into his church's theological seminary - L.I.F.E where he went for pastoral training and graduated in 2003. Ever since, Shola Olamakinde has been serving God and also building his secular career. He worked briefly with some insurance companies and brokerage firms before having the leading of God to do what he is doing now.

 Artistic Inclination

With great conviction that God wanted him to explore a potential that he had neglected for a while and with encouragements from friends, Shola Olamakinde made a paradigm shift from the Insurance world into the Art world. "It is a gift that runs in the family" he said as he confirmed that both his mother and elder brother were both art inclined. "I also exhibited a few of it in Secondary School such that I caught the attention of my Arts Teacher but I wasn't seeing Arts as something that could fetch me a comfortable life."

Shola Olamakinde's decision to explore the Art World was not without its challenges. Since he had no academic training in arts, he was faced with the challenge of what opportunities lies ahead for him in the art industry. He was in awe of where to start from in the quest to realize his dream. Soon, he got encouraged by his friend who introduced him to artists from Benin. Shola Olamakinde would make a design and since he didn't know what to use, the artists from Benin would go back and translate his vision to visuals and then send it back to him for marketing.

In the bid to make quick money from his new found passion, Shola Olamakinde neglected painting in the studio for Arts Collection and Marketing. He visited Art studios, made friends with artists of whom some were introduced to him by his wife; collected their works for understudy and strategic promotions and marketing. This process informed the gallery aspect of Shola Olamakinde's business in the Art World. Having the marketing skills and ability was not enough to make Shola Olamakinde pull through in the art world as he was faced with the challenge of having a good and exclusive clientele having noticed that the elites would patronize art works more than an average Nigerian and this in-turn would boost his financial base. He took a drastic decision in targeting two locations to enable him showcase his works - "If I couldn't reach them, I located myself where I could be reached by them" he said. "I targeted two locations, Magodo and Lekki; without knowing anybody there. After collecting works, I'll display them by the side of my car" he said.

His perseverance and consistency was commended by elites and a number of his friends as he meticulously carried out his weekly routine not minding the psychological challenge it posed on him being a graduate yet marketing his wares on the street after working in some reputable organizations. "As a business man he is an aggressive' marketer and very creative, the business he is doing now he started from nothing" his friend, Pastor Tope Ilesanmi affirmed. Visual interpretation also posed a great threat for Shola Olamakinde since most of his collections were not made by him. "I overcame that by sitting down, putting myself into the spirit of the artist to read his mind and more often than not I see beyond what the artist wanted to do and I begin to interpret" he said.

 Ministerial Assignment

Through the grace of God, Shola Olamakinde pulled through in the art world and also did not forget to heed the call of this same God that has been impressed upon him while he was doing his Masters Degree. He went for trainings undermining the fact that he had been an active member of the Foursquare Gospel Church, Anthony branch where he was when the assignment for him to go and pioneer and pastor a church in a remote community at Ibafo Ogun State was placed on him by his then pastor - Pastor Gbenga Adekoya.

 Past Life

Since even a saint would always have a past life, Pastor Shola Olamakinde also had a past life that he was not proud of. Having experienced suspicion, hatred, unforgiving spirit and lack of financial care from his family background, Shola Olamakinde was left to fend for himself. In the bid to be able to sustain, he hearkened unto pressure from friends and went into immoral acts. He became wild; partying and breaking bottles at parties keeping a lot of girlfriends, harassing any boy that was seen as a threat in acquiring his choice ladies. "I had a rough background between 1979 and 1986. It was a period that I always prayed that if I had an opportunity to rewind back my life, I would wipe it off”.

During this period, Shola Olamakinde claims to be a Christian but the church did not hinder him from exhibiting all of his immoral traits as he was a mere church goer that had not been born again. So, he carried on like that until he had an encounter with the Lord and became born again on the 1987 New Year's Eve. The grace of God had since then been outstanding in Shola Olamakinde's life even though there was a carry-over of his past into his new life. But the assistance from his church and his daily meditation of God's word helped him in gaining spiritual growth and total victory from sin.

 Marital Bliss

Behind every successful man, there is always a woman. This is made true in the history of Shola Olamakinde who is married to a banker; Funmi Olamakinde. The duo got to know each other before they got into school. They maintained a form of friendship that they were not serious about until their re-union five years later. By this time, they were ready to tie the knot - "we weren't serious, we were just friends but this time around we were ready". While Shola proposed, Funmi accepted and after much counseling, prayers from Pastors and both Parents and also the wedding proper they became Mr. and Mrs. Olamakinde on the 6th of June 1992. Shola Olamakinde has since then been a loving husband - "It's been nice getting married to him, he is a loving husband, a good person, he is a very kind person and he can go all out of his ways to get the family going ensuring things are in order and making everybody do what is expected of them" his wife, Funmi Olamakinde said. The union of himself and his wife produced four kids - three girls and a boy.

 Temperament

One thing that the Olamakinde's dread most in their house is their father's angry mood while his attitude in responding to their needs is appreciated. "If I ask him for anything, if he has he will give me and if he doesn't have, he will tell me he doesn't have" responded Toyosi - his last child. "Nobody likes when he is angry because his mood affects the whole house" Tolulope his first child said.

 Counsel to Youths

Pastor Shola Olamakinde admonishes the youths in our generation to be very godly. “The youths should know that they carry so much energy that heaven is depending on to be unleashed upon their generation for the sustenance of God's Vision. He maintained that so many things he is doing now were as a result of the aggressiveness in him in the bid to cover the years he had lost before knowing Christ. He revealed that everything he is now and all he has is as a result of the grace of God on his life.

Pst. & Pst. (Mrs.) Shola Olamakinde.